One Foot Here, One Foot…

04.July 2012

Our Journey

Know what this is?

Unhung Pictures

Or this?

UnOpened Boxes

It’s undone stuff. Unhung pictures. Still packed boxes.

We’ve been here in Calgary over a year now and just haven’t bothered to completely unpack or settle in.

I realized this last week when friends moved into a new house and then declared just a few short days later that everything was unpacked; the dishes were all put away, the pictures hung on the wall, and the boxes all recycled.

Wow‘, I said, ‘we still have pictures that are not hung and boxes that are still packed.

It’s because you’re not all here’, Peter said to me. ‘You have one foot here and one foot somewhere else.’

And I suddenly realized just how right he is.

I’m ready to go, but it’s not time yet. We have a summer full of plans (including our trip to Japan!) – so full that it’s impossible, at this point, to find time to plan for anything beyond summer.

I’ve been struggling lately. I find it difficult to concentrate on my job, mostly because I just don’t care. I see opportunities float by just out of reach because there is no way I can even plant a seed with no time to water it, and nurture it, and see what it can become. I imagine what it will be like when I’m out there, doing something different…and then I wonder if I’m just crazy. I don’t even know where out there is never mind what something different is going to look like.

And yet I feel compelled. Compelled to keep reaching. Compelled to try something different. Compelled to keep taking Giant Steps. Even if I feel uncomfortable. Even if I don’t know why. Even if I don’t know where it’s going to end up.

I am, as you read this, in the Grand Teton Mountains of Wyoming. I am sure that the fine mountain air, the conversation with old friends, and the exhausting hiking will bring me some clarity.

Tomorrow I fly to Portland for this years World Domination Summit which, I hope, will propel me forward with passion, hope, and confidence.

Our plan is to return and start finding some seeds to plant.

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14 Responses to “One Foot Here, One Foot…”

  1. Ayngelina Says:

    I’m really looking forward to seeing you this weekend and hoping it’s as good as everyone says!
    Ayngelina recently posted..Bacon is a changing

  2. Ali Says:

    After graduating college and moving out of my parents’ house, I lived in 5 different apartments in 9 years. I NEVER unpacked everything, never hung up more than a few pictures, never really felt any of those places was permanent, even the one I owned. I can relate to that feeling of being one foot “here” and one foot somewhere else, even if you don’t know where somewhere else is. I knew I didn’t see myself living in Atlanta forever, I just didn’t know how to change it or get out or where to go instead. I’m glad to be in Germany now with Andy. You will figure out where you want to go, what you want to do, and plant some seeds.
    Ali recently posted..Heidelberg – Sleeping With the Locals

  3. Lisa Says:

    I hear you, loud and clear. I’ve been back two years, and within 2 months starting planning a return to long-term travel. Like you, I have certain financial-realated goals to meet, and I’m targetting the middle of next year to hit the road again. Like you, I struggle to maintain interest in the job. I work in IT and I just cannot feel the same sense of urgency that a customer does when something isn’t working. It’s just a system for goodness sakes, no one is going to die! Fortunately, I just go through the motions to keep the customer happy, but there is no passion whatsoever. Every single thing I do outside of work is focussed on the long-term travel plans – whether it be to work on the house to get it set up for long-term rental or to slowly sell my stuff online.

    Your friend’s quote ‘one foot here, one foot somewhere else’ is so true!

  4. Christina M Says:

    I am in the exact same place! It is SO hard to be somewhere when you know you will be leaving. You want to fully commit, but can’t. And work – don’t even get me started! So unmotivated, as bad as it sounds…
    Christina M recently posted..Why I Hate Bucket Lists

  5. Lindsey Says:

    I know exactly what you mean. I’ve had pictures ready to hang on my walls for a couple of years, I got sick of it only a couple of weeks ago and ended up hanging the pictures … without the frames using only double-sided tape. It’s so hard to think of anything with a degree of permanency because, at the moment, for me here, there isn’t any. Best of luck in your seed plantings. Inspiration and passion is just around the corner .

  6. Arti Says:

    Wow! Japan!!! I just came from there and am still craving for more… You will surely have a fab time in the land of the rising Sun:)
    Arti recently posted..Planning for Japan: Visa, Flight Bookings, Hotel Reservations, etc.

  7. Hannah Loveplaywork Says:

    hey Gillian, I hope you are feeling more able to reach for those opportunities after a big dose of inspiration and hanging out with like-minded people this weekend. It seems to feel easier to grab chances some times than others, but when you are feeling it, go for it! I know how you feel about not being quite settled, it’s funny now that i am on the road again it all feels much more stable- can’t wait to find out how you feel in Japan!
    Hannah
    Hannah Loveplaywork recently posted..What I learnt about World Domination (and it’s probably not what you think)

    • Gillian Says:

      Thanks Hannah. It was great to meet you guys this weekend. I can definitely report that the clean mountain air and the inspiring Portland visit have cleared out my head! We have returned ready to find that opportunity and hang with it. First Japan…then the world!
      Gillian recently posted..Practicing Ramen Slurping

  8. Chris Says:

    Wow. Just reading both posts and responses and I learn something almost every time. My phrase would be ‘body in one place, head in another.’ (And not up the —–!)

    I LOVE my home and yard. I spent a lot of money making them ‘mine’ after my divorce-a way to overcome the feeling of being powerless otherwise maybe. I am looking at retirement but have very little equity and no savings other than retirement accounts (modest due to a late start at a ‘career’ with benefits-usual mostly-stay-at-home mom situation).

    I’ve been following Hannah and Chris recently and my home is almost ready for exchanging-still one room and the garage to organize-i.e. find places for all the stuff-either to be used or to be given away. Boy that initial de-acquisitioning took a LONG time.

    The idea that is beginning to grow in my head now is to rent my lovely, easy to maintain house while I basically relocate to anywhere I want! Sometimes the forest is too dense for me to see any particular tree.

    I’m also going to check out World Domination. It sounds promising to me.

    Thanks to all who contribute to blogs-LOVE, LOVE, LOVE this concept!